Chinderella – it’s an orthognathic fairytale, you see.

August 21, 2008

A bit random, but totally from the heart. Or something.

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 8:02 pm

1.Blogfolks, you’ll be relieved to know that, unlike what I was hinting at in my previous post, I haven’t been kissing passing, unsuspecting strangers to check if I could feel something; nor have I been pulling my trousers down at parties (just because I’ve lost so much weight I don’t need to unzip them anymore). One knows how to behave.

2. In fact, and rather sadly, there haven’t been any parties; on the other hand I have had the great joy (greater than I can express in this blog, it is not the place you see) to find a much loved, long-lost friend. We reminisced about the way we looked 18 years ago – poodle perm, orange hair, orthognathically-challenged profile (me) ; oversize glasses, bad dress sense, serious geek tendencies (him).

3. What’s my point, I hear you ask; here it is, galloping in your general direction; look at us now! He matured (I was going to say like a good cheese, but you’re not French, so you won’t get it and think it’s a bad thing) into a seriously, seriously sexy 36 year old*; and I’ve finally come to love my profiles. Both of them.

4. I’ll go off and do a little dance now; or add another candle to the Altar To Orthognatic Surgery in general, and Dr L, aka Big Chief Jaw Driller in particular. Be well!

*with an equally seriously sexy girlfriend.


August 19, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 12:53 pm

Fellow orthobloggers, hello! Just a short one today; four things:

1. This morning I’ve read through this blog, a measure of the long, long way I’ve come and of how great I feel now. I wouldn’t hesitate to call this surgery life-changing; I didn’t think I would.

2. At 51 kilos, I can pull my trousers down without undoing the zip. Could it become a party piece?

3. I can’t wait to see my workmates (‘why are you doing this, you’re perfectly fine the way you are‘) and ask them if they want to feel the little screws I have in my face! (I can’t actually feel them, but I just want to see the look of horror on their faces.)

4. I realised I haven’t kissed anybody in months, and months. I wonder if I would feel something.

That’s all; you see, quite inconsequential, really.

August 15, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 8:36 pm

Fellow orthobloggers, hello! A dramatic little tale tonight, to which I’m sure you can all relate:

I used to think that no stranger looking at me could ever find me even remotely attractive; from the side especially, I would duck and try to hide, turn my head away so that my profile wouldn’t be on display. Why I cared about a stranger’s opinion I do not know; perhaps too many of those strangers had thought it acceptable to let me know just what they thought. I would think : this person is staring at me because, no doubt, they can’t believe what they see, they relish the ugliness.

Two nights ago on the train from Lyon: across the aisle from me a young man was sitting; and staring. I felt the old, familiar tug, the urge to hide away, let the hair fall, then remembered : hey, I look good now, and I love my profile; and I smiled inside and felt free.

This moment of late night heartfelt solemnity was brought to you by Chinderella Inc.

Below, just for the hell of it, more ‘before and after’. Subtle changes, you say? Yes, subtle like a ton of bricks. 🙂 I added a couple more pcs to the page on the right hand side, just because. I’m having a narcissistic moment.

August 14, 2008

9 weeks post-op

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 9:55 am

Fellow orthobloggers, greetings! I saw Big Chief Jaw Driller, aka Dr L, then went shopping for new clothes, which is a sure sign that everything is just fine. I only give in to narcissistic purchasing when I’m feeling good, and I was feeling fantastic, so I bought an equally fantastic coat. Then I ate in a restaurant! In public! Without drooling!

My anal retentiveness and obsession for symmetry made Dr L laugh. He made me laugh too, I suspect to see how many teeth would show, and said : your smile is beautiful now. I could have married him on the spot. I know, I know, every single one of you is convinced that her/his surgeon is The Best, because how else could we launch ourselves into this orthognathic adventure with a reasonable amount of trust? It’s a little like comparing what our parents did for a living when we were 8 year olds – but let me tell you – my OS is The Best, no question there.* Every time I have an appointment, I feel like the most important person in the world. He answered all my queries; I now know why my maxilla buggered off to the right : my occlusion post-surgery was as good as he could make it considering the position of my teeth, and he thought it was going to shift a little, which it did. This was foreseen both by him and my ortho – I only wished she’d told me so that I could be spared the anxiety. Some hardcore orthodontia (my understanding) is on the cards now for Chinderella! Dr L also added that he was very pleased with his work, and that the way I look now is how I should always have been.

I’ll go and add a couple of candles to his altar now.

Be well! Thank you for stopping by!

*Don’t even think of arguing, this is my blog anyway.

August 11, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 9:48 am

Tomorrow I’m taking the train up north to visit Big Chief Jaw Driller, aka Big Frank, aka my OS; I need to show him that everything is skewif, as they say in Scotland, but I don’t know how to spell a word that has no official spelling! And then hopefully I’ll know THE TRUTH. Is this skewifness fixable with orthodontics? Do I have to hop back onto the operating table? Do you even have any idea what i’m talking about? Note to self : ask James if he knows how to spell skewif.

So, fingers and toes crossed tomorrow, please, thank you. If the news’s good, afterwards I’m so going shopping.

August 7, 2008

People’s reaction, part I*

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 6:01 pm

I expected that this surgery – LeFort I + BSSO- would change my face, and not necessarily in a subtle way. That was fine, subtlety wasn’t what I was after. As well as a competent occlusion, I wanted balance and harmony; I expected to look friendlier, more approachable, less grumpy. I think I can safely report success on that front.

Seeing people post-surgery has been a joy all in itself, you know.

Aunt and uncle : hand clasped over mouth : Oh! Well, it changes you.

Mother’s many friends : two hands over mouth, raised eyebrows: Oh! It does change you!

Oh, really? In a ‘I’m sorry you’ve had acid poured on your face‘ kinda way, or in ‘ I wonder why you bothered, you’re just as fugly as you were before’? Is that all there is to say? Was it a Terrible Mistake? I mean, I don’t expect people to start crying with joy, drop to their knees and kiss my feet or anything. Just say it was worth it, or simply add ‘in a good way’ to the very neutral, slightly worrying statement of change.

While Supportive Friend #1 said nothing, not a single word, Supportive Friend #2 said : you look exactly the same as before. But are you sure you lost weight? Bastard. Anyway, I know I don’t look the same, so what’s the deal there?

And my favourite, today’s effort, my brother’s : Bloody hell! You’re totally different! He did a great job! You don’t look like a pitbul anymore..or a rottweiler.

I guess I’ve got to take the bad with the good. If I think about it, it’s almost encouraging, isn’t it.

* I’m quite certain there will be more.. I’m meant to go back to work on September 4th, and face 325 people in one go. Oh the joy. I might have to wear my ‘No M’am, this wasn’t plastic surgery’ tshirt.

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 2:02 pm

Hello, fellow orthognaters!

First of all, all my wishes for a speedy, optimistic recovery to Lotti, whose surgery was yesterday.

Last night I dreamt this : I was sitting down in my ortho’s chair, opening my mouth, and she was saying: oh my god, has Frank* seen this? What are we going to do?

Not very encouraging. Let’s move on regardless.

Yesterday I reached the eight week post-surgery mark; I’m still in the limbo described in my previous post ( 5 days til I see Dr L**, aka Big Chief Jaw Driller***, and KNOW THE TRUTH, dammit) so I’m finding it quite hard to celebrate anything at all, just in case the news is bad and I have to start all over again.

But still. My energy levels are not exactly what they were pre-surgery but yesterday I went for a long walk, up and down some hills in the sun. I came back feeling almost human; hungry, too.

Food wise, the heat makes not eating enough bearable; I’m probably far below the recommended 1800 calories a day (is that right?) but I’m mostly lazying around doing very little anyway so don’t need all that. Good icecream, fruit cut into little pieces and rice or pasta, also cut into little pieces and with plenty of parmesan are my staple diet. I just wish I could chew! But chewing isn’t happening. I move my jaws up and down hoping something will be crushed in there, but no. Quite useless.

The swelling’s pretty much gone now. I think I have a pretty good idea of what I’m going to look like; I can’t say that the changes are subtle; from the side they are almost spectacular, in a good way I think. From the front I still look like me, except more rounded, softer, less aggressive. I think I look healthier than I used to, and not only because I am tanned. The perception of other people will deserve a post of its own at some point…

Anyway, enough navel-gazing for today. It’s time to go lie down in the grass outside. Be well, and thank you for stopping by!

* My OS’ first name. The ortho world is a big family, you know.

** my name for my OS; doesn’t it express the reverence I feel for his widsom and experience? See note below regarding possible building of an altar involving candles.

*** James’ name for the gret man; behind the flippancy, one can feel the respect for his higher abilities, I find.

August 1, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 8:30 pm

I won’t lie to you, fellow orthobloggers, I’ve had it. Perhaps it’s the staying put and doing very little that’s not helping, but I’ve had it up to here with this recovery – so slow, I wish I could give it a good kick up the arse.

No, in fact, that’s not what’s making it hard, but this: although I saw a surgeon and an orthodentist a week ago I’m counting the days til I see my own OS in Lille – 12 days to be precise. Remember my upper jaw moving to the right? Well, I haven’t been drunk all this time, it still is; with rubber bands I have a decent oclusion but my top midline is definitely off 1 mm to the right; if I am without rubber bands for longer than 3 hours, I notice a further shift, I lose all the occlusion; I end up with a total of two teeth making contact. And that, fellow bloggers, can’t be right, it’s the end of the world and I just want to cry. My mother got bored with hearing about me and my face a few weeks ago so I’m keeping quiet, avoiding mirrors and trying to kick my own arse into believing it’s going to be just fine – when I see Dr L. Eventually. But no matter what I was told just last week – it’s all great! they said- I can’t be believe that all this shifting, moving, asymmetry can be fixed permanently with a couple of rubber bands. At this point I’m not sure I’d be able to go through a second surgery, either now or further down the line. My life has been revolving around this for too long now, I want it to be over, done, and if possible, so that I can go on with my life, and with a decent, symmetrical occlusion please.

July 30, 2008

Today’s menu : goo.

Filed under: eating,photos — chinderella @ 11:30 am

Fellow orthobloggers, hello!

I think I’ve passed the 7 week post-surgery mark; I’m not even sure anymore. In any case, to celebrate this momentous event, here’s a picture of me trying to open my jaws as wide as I can: crap, isn’t it. I’m still eating everything with a spoon.

I also look like I have a greasy face, but that’s because it’s very hot over here.

What else.. I’ve been doing ruthless jaw exercices – thumbs on the upper jaw, forefinger on the lower, and push! Not comfortable, but if I want to shove that chocolate mousse in more efficiently something’s got to be done.

Foodwise, I was told pre-surgery that around day + 45 I’d be ‘eating normally’. As if. If normal means shovelling small portions of pasta, canneloni stuffed with ricotta and other almost non-chewable preparations into my face and getting smeared in tomato sauce in the process, then yes, I’m eating normally. Or perhaps they meant normally for a coordinationally challenged 2 year old?

Yesterday I followed Michelle and B’s tips and made pancakes, American style. It took me almost as long to eat them as to make them, but it was well worth it. I am, after all, in France, and food is supposed to be at the centre of the universe…

Be well, and thank you for stopping by!

July 25, 2008


Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 1:51 pm

Week 6 post sugery, and my patience button is cranked up to the max. I’m just so .. bored! I wish everything would consolidate, heal, stretch, chew, whatever, but a little bit faster. I can talk pretty well now, in spite of my ‘hot potato in mouth’ feeling. Eating, even with a baby spoon (the joy!) is still a messy business and I’m still shovelling goo into my face long after everybody else has left, washed the dishes and taken a nap.

I saw a surgeon yesterday and an ortho this morning. Details are boring; they both say everything’s great, blah blah, the surgeon pulled onto my lower jaw to make sure it was properly attached; apparently it was, yet I yelped like a clubbed baby seal. My upper arch was changed, rubber bands found new positions, and everyone exclaimed on how fantastic a job both my ortho and surgeon had done on me. Yet, no-one seems to pay any attention to that top midline not being in the middle anymore. It bothers me because I like symmetry. I’m seeing Dr L, my proper OS on August 12th. Maybe I can’t see straight. Maybe I’ve got so much time on my hands I’m turning neurotic.

I’m too tired and bored senseless today; maybe I’m hungry, maybe I’m a bit depressed, sometimes I can’t tell the difference between the two. All I know is that the situation requires CHOCOLATE MOUSSE. Twice.

Another successful surgery in blogland this week : Kam’s. Good vibes to her!

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