Today’s menu : goo.

Fellow orthobloggers, hello!

I think I’ve passed the 7 week post-surgery mark; I’m not even sure anymore. In any case, to celebrate this momentous event, here’s a picture of me trying to open my jaws as wide as I can: crap, isn’t it. I’m still eating everything with a spoon.

I also look like I have a greasy face, but that’s because it’s very hot over here.

What else.. I’ve been doing ruthless jaw exercices – thumbs on the upper jaw, forefinger on the lower, and push! Not comfortable, but if I want to shove that chocolate mousse in more efficiently something’s got to be done.

Foodwise, I was told pre-surgery that around day + 45 I’d be ‘eating normally’. As if. If normal means shovelling small portions of pasta, canneloni stuffed with ricotta and other almost non-chewable preparations into my face and getting smeared in tomato sauce in the process, then yes, I’m eating normally. Or perhaps they meant normally for a coordinationally challenged 2 year old?

Yesterday I followed Michelle and B’s tips and made pancakes, American style. It took me almost as long to eat them as to make them, but it was well worth it. I am, after all, in France, and food is supposed to be at the centre of the universe…

Be well, and thank you for stopping by!

Bleh

Week 6 post sugery, and my patience button is cranked up to the max. I’m just so .. bored! I wish everything would consolidate, heal, stretch, chew, whatever, but a little bit faster. I can talk pretty well now, in spite of my ‘hot potato in mouth’ feeling. Eating, even with a baby spoon (the joy!) is still a messy business and I’m still shovelling goo into my face long after everybody else has left, washed the dishes and taken a nap.

I saw a surgeon yesterday and an ortho this morning. Details are boring; they both say everything’s great, blah blah, the surgeon pulled onto my lower jaw to make sure it was properly attached; apparently it was, yet I yelped like a clubbed baby seal. My upper arch was changed, rubber bands found new positions, and everyone exclaimed on how fantastic a job both my ortho and surgeon had done on me. Yet, no-one seems to pay any attention to that top midline not being in the middle anymore. It bothers me because I like symmetry. I’m seeing Dr L, my proper OS on August 12th. Maybe I can’t see straight. Maybe I’ve got so much time on my hands I’m turning neurotic.

I’m too tired and bored senseless today; maybe I’m hungry, maybe I’m a bit depressed, sometimes I can’t tell the difference between the two. All I know is that the situation requires CHOCOLATE MOUSSE. Twice.

Another successful surgery in blogland this week : Kam’s. Good vibes to her!

1. First of all, I’m sending good vibes to Lori, whose surgery is tomorrow morning. Not the same tomorrow morning as mine since we’re on different continents, but I hope the good vibes, if I start sending them now, will find their way there by the right time nonetheless.
2. Then, today’s momentous piece of news is that finally, 5 weeks and 5 days post-surgery , when one-jaw patients are healed and back to normal, (I hear you snigger in the back) this double osteotomy (yours truly) finally managed to open her gob enough to have some potato mash. With a spoon. (a very small spoon..) 5 weeks, 5 days on soup and milkshake only. I did get covered in goo, but it was oh so good. Then I did that little dance where you jump up and down and rub your belly.
3. A new culinary horizon is opening before my eyes! I’m going to mash everything I can get my hands on, and spoon it into my starving gob.

Audience : Ok, Chinders, enough whining about arthrititististis. We googled ‘ugly mugs’ and ‘jaw surgery’ for a reason. Give us some before and after photos already.

Oh, ok. Here goes: on the left, old profile, picture that would have been instantly chucked into the bin had I not planned this surgery and looked forward to a brighter, orthognathic furture.

On the right, today’s profile. I’m just sayin’.

I have to add that on the latter my remaining puffiness (cheeks, under my chin) isn’t so visible. I’m known to not be not quite handsome in a certain angle and a certain light, to misquote Nick Cave. 5 weeks post-surgery and I still have some deflating to do!

I do love that my nose has changed shape too from having my maxillar moved forward. It’s still big, but now it’s got personality instead of just being fugly.

The less narcissistic news are that the anti-inflammatories seem to have kicked in. I no longer feel that my maxillar is detaching itself from my skull, hurrah – still uncomfortable, but not panic-inducing.

Ok, that’s enough navel-and-nose-gazing for today. I have more pictures but I look either dumb or sweaty on them for some reason. More later. Thank you for stopping by! Be well!

The doctor has no choice but to see you now

1. Some day, probably soon since I’ve got very little else to do these days, next to the altar dedicated to Dr L, I’ll also build one to my mum. She deserves it. See:

2. Yesterday I had an xray taken. Then she decided that there was no way I could wait another 2 days for a proper, informed, medical opinion, and gatecrashed her OS’ s office, practically begging his assistant to get me an appointment. He was booked solid til 10pm that night! I had tears in my eyes by that point, so that might have helped- she called him at the hospital where he was operating, and within the hour I saw him.

3. X-ray normal, all plates and screws in their proper place – fascinating to see! maxillary indeed buggering off a little to the right as I suspected – work for my ortho, he said. As to the weird and very unpleasant ‘everything is collapsing’ feeling, he diagnosed it as arthritis and prescribed me a seven day course of heavy duty anti-inflamatories.

4. Hopefully those will do the job, and this little hitch overcome I can revert back to a placid, NORMAL recovery, thank you very much. 5 weeks, I’m getting bored with soup. My patience button is now on its highest setting, but at least I don’t start bawling every time I swallow a mouthful of soup.

be well! Thank you for stopping by!

4 weeks, 3 days

In view of the mounting psychosis ( 8 on the Richter scale), I reverted to rubber bands just like during the first 3 weeks post surgery. That means reverting back to soup in a syringe, ah the happiness!  and to garbled words in lieu of communication. Just when I was starting to speak so well! My mum thinks it’s because I was talking so much that my upper jaw started moving; perhaps it’s just another one of her tactics to get me to be quiet.

After much pleading, I have a control appointment – the assistant didn’t understand the words ‘freaking out’ or ’emergency’ or ‘probably disfigured’ – next Thursday morning. That’s SIX WHOLE DAYS. I hope that by then with my heavy duty elastics and minimal movement, things are stabilised enough for the surgeon to tell me that everything is fine, I just took off the rubber bands too soon for my healing process. Or something. Please….

My fingers and toes are starting to hurt from so much crossing.

I’ve also been indulging in much online retail therapy – it’s the sale over here..-to make myself feel better.

Be well, thank you for stopping by!

4 weeks, 1 day post op anxiety

• My psychosis has been building up steadily over here, so this morning when it was nearing 5 on the Richter scale I called Dr L and explained the midline being off, the weird and unpleasant ‘everything is collapsing‘ feeling when I swallow, and the pain on the left side when I’m all rubber banded up at night. Yep, that last one is new.

He listened carefully; he always does. While he’s not too worried about the weird feeling and recommended some Iboprufen-like thing to take, he confirmed that my midline was impeccable as a result of the surgery, and that he needed to take a look; he asked when my next appointment was. August 12, can it wait til then? I asked. Yes, it’ll be ok, he answered. Thank you Doctor. Don’t worry, i’m not blaming you if my face is falling apart already, really I’m not, I know you’re top-notch.

• In the afternoon, I was nearer 9 on the Richter scale and called back, in true fussy patient fashion, but could only get his secretary. The plan, if he agrees, if for me to consult one of his colleagues in my home town. My upper jaw is clearly moved to the right; although my teeth still just meet on the left, they are over the bottom ones on the right. Definitely not the way it was only a week ago.

I can only think of two ways to fix this:

– a big slap, with momentum, to the right side of my face ( I’m sure plenty of people would offer)

– further surgery.

I think I need some drugs now. Lots of them.

One month post op, who would think it

I’m utterly miserable, as if I’d used up all my patience and optimism. I’m seeing or feeling no progress whatsoever. I’m still swollen, especially in the morning; that wouldn’t bother me so much from the aesthetic point of view – I’m not going anywhere- if speaking wasn’t impaired because of it.

For the past 4 days, if I don’t clench my jaws when swallowing, I can feel a weird, unpleasant phenomenon, as if a bit of my jaw, top left, was coming loose. It’s hard to describe. I can’t help but think that something’s going terribly wrong.

I also think – and my mother told me I’m going psycho- that my top jaw midline is not in line with my nose, if that makes sense. I spent ages last night trying to show her but she wouldn’t see it…

Finally, eating is still the same story : liquid, and injected into my face with a syringe unless I can drink it out of a glass.

I’m not losing the will to live but I’m feeling pretty damn close.

3 weeks post op control visit

It’s official.

Dr L of the very blue eyes and reassuring face said so: not only I am not crooked, but everything is.just.fine. Normal recovery. Perfect bite. He’s happy with his work, I’m happy with his work, and I’ll see him again in a month’s time. In the meantime, I have graduated to rubber bands only at night, yay! and to a very soft post-surgery toothbrush. I can’t wait to be brushing again. When I see him next, I should be able to open up ‘two fingers wide’. I didn’t ask if he meant two of his or two of mine; I have little fingers.

It was a trip and a half taking the train to Lille on Tuesday, coming back on Wednesday. I’m completely exhausted now; it was also my first proper outing! Being still puffy I was a little nervous of people’s stares, and stare they did. But who cares, after all. At least I didn’t look like I’d been beaten up anymore.

I’ll go now; and make a little altar with Dr L’s picture on it, and lots of little candles. Be well! Thank you for stopping by!