Chinderella – it’s an orthognathic fairytale, you see.

May 24, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 2:39 pm
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1.Blogpeople, if you’re anything like me (normal) as opposed to my favourite James (who hasn’t got a single pre-pubescent memory, not a single scrap of an idea of what happened to him before he turned 12), if you are at all like me, you must have snippets of what you once did or thought, which defined who you are now.

2. Aged 4 or 5, I’m sitting on a step outside my grandmother’s house, despondent: life is just too hard; there are bees in this world, and wasps, and hornets, and scorpions (although I’ve never seen one of those, but Anne is school says they can kill you), and they are everywhere. It’s all just too hard. I don’t know how I’m going to be able to cope with it all. Is it worth it, anyway? How can I be sure?

3. 31 years later, sometimes, this whole surgery, braces, anxiety sometimes feels like it’s just too hard. Is it all worth it? How can I be sure?

4. so I think back, and I shrug: it’s probably going to get even harder; this, or something else, now or later, and there might even be scorpions; and even then you’ll cope just fine.

May 23, 2008

Rollercoaster

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 10:51 am

1. ‘Thank you God’? asks my long suffering shrink, David. The poor guy’s been hearing all my trials and tribulations for the past 5 years, but I suppose someone’s got to help him pay his mortgage, why not me.

Nah, thanks mum, I reply. Whomever, whatever, blogpeople, the planets must have been aligned, or my mum really did kick some ass trying to get a date out of my surgeon – she’s been my  PA, you see.

2. Two days ago – and it was my birthday, too, happy birthday to me- I was given a (new) date : June 10th. (yay!) Only upper jaw surgery, no lower jaw (yay!) in Lille. Then it was a great flurry of activity : finding somewhere to stay for my mum (how would I do this without her?) for the 5 days I’ll be in hospital. Booking train tickets. And hyperventilating.

3. It’s happening, finally, and there are so many things to sort out; I have the choice between going in the night before, or at 7 on the morning of the surgery. Am I more likely to score some drugs if I go the night before? I think so; and also there might be cable in the hospital room.

4. I have to go pair up my socks now. It calms me down. Be well!

May 10, 2008

The elusive Surgery Date : now you see it, now you don’t.

Filed under: Uncategorized — chinderella @ 12:04 pm

1. Blogpeople, I had it all sorted out – well, almost: I had June 13th circled out in green (for hope) in my diary; I had a substitute at work for my classes, a sitter for the cat; I was trying my best to not count the days.

2. Then the surgeon who was going to operate me decided he wouldn’t do it. Just like that, a month before the scheduled date; because he couldn’t work with my ortho – too complicated, he said.

3. it is complicated : I live in London; my orho is in Lille, the surgeon is 500 miles away in my home town. But it could have worked out if my ortho hadn’t been a complete prima donna and sent  x-rays when she said she would, communicated with him when she promised she was going to. I’m so over her stupid , patronising ways, and of course I can’t switch orthodentists at this stage.

4. So  I have an appointment to see another surgeon in Lille; I might be lucky: he might have space in his schedule in June, which is when I told work I would be off. I might find a flat to rent for the weeks I’ll be staying there. I just might. Or not. I won’t know anything til May 20th.

5. I still don’t even know what they’re going to do to me! One jaw or both?

6. I’m feeling, in turns, scared, panicky, angry and homicidal. And I bet that’s just the beginning. Pffffff.

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